This week's tarot deck brought out the nine of swords and the description of it so accurate to my place in life right now, that I had to bookmark it somewhere and chose this blog. Maybe you can relate...
I did a meditation yesterday on what it would feel like to not worry. When I was able to throw out of my mind all of the troubles that usually keep me anxious, it felt like an instant relief. If you want to try this meditation, imagine that you are emptying out all of the problems in your life one by one until you are empty inside. Once you are completely empty of every worry that you have, you can begin with a clean slate and go to sleep.
Some of the worries I carry around with me will be outlined below, but many of them I have already forgotten because I emptied them last night.
Here is a description of the tarot card in my star sign for September:
The Nine of Swords shows a woman with her head in her hands, sitting up in her bed. She appears to have just woken up from a bad nightmare, and is obviously upset, fearful and anxious following her dream. Nine swords hang on the wall behind her and the base of the bed is decorated with a carving of a duel in which one person is being defeated by another. The quilt covering the woman is decorated with roses and the outlines of astrological symbols.
The Nine of Swords is the card of fear and nightmares, and has an apparently negative ‘feel’ to it. However, the troubles alluded to in the Nine of Swords are primarily of a psychological nature and do not necessarily indicate suffering in your external reality. That is, it is what is inside your mind that is creating the fear and anxiety, not your actual circumstances. Your experience of the world is greatly influenced by our expectations, desires, and fears, and therefore you are largely the creator of your own world, and your attitudes determine how you experience that world.
The Nine of Swords can also reflect fear of the future, or what may possibly happen in the future. If you allow yourself to be bound by fear of the future, you are at risk of eventually creating a negative reality for yourself by virtue of your expectations. Your nightmare becomes your self-fulfilling prophecy, which is clearly not a desirable outcome.
Generally, this card is an indication that you are worrying excessively about a situation. You are literally being kept up at night because you are so anxious about a particular issue. It is possible you are working yourself up unnecessarily and, if you were to look at the situation more objectively, you may come to realise that it is not as bad as you are making it out to be. In fact, all that worry and despair is what is making it worse, so rather than fretting about it, do something to change it.
Although most people experience fear, frustration and uncertainty at some point in their lives, you should not allow those negative emotions to immobilise you or keep you from pursuing your goals with enthusiasm and hope. Expect at least some level of uncertainty in the future, and draw upon your inner strength to remain as flexible and adaptable to that uncertainty as possible.
The Nine of Swords can also indicate that you are being incredibly hard on yourself, putting yourself down or engaging in negative self-talk. For every mistake you make, you blame yourself and become worked up and angry at yourself for messing up again. So, when the Nine of Swords appears in a reading, ask yourself why you are being so hard on yourself, how are you putting yourself down or what is the source of your depression? What can you do to make yourself feel better? You may need to make a more conscious effort to quit the negative self-talk and replace it with positive reinforcement for a job well done.
If you are feeling anxious or worried, know you are not alone. It is part of life.
Sending you love and light,